Dentist: *Has multiple things in your mouth*
"So how’s school?"
if you put “man” at the end of any sentence its AUTOMATICALLY platonic
"i love you, man."
"stay with me forever, man."
"fuck me hard in the ass, man."
last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up
My thing is, have sex whenever you decide to want to have sex. You want to have sex on the first night, go ahead. You want to have sex after 20 dates, go ahead. You want to never have sex, go ahead. People think that someone’s sexual choices actually coincide with their personality. If all you can think of someone’s worth is whether they want to have sex or not, then the problem is probably you.
what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please
I just spit out my coffee
You’re supposed to swallow it
Does anyone else lie in bed at 2:30am filled with the crippling fear that they’re never going to accomplish anything in life and fail miserably or is that just me